So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Randomize
