I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
