She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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