i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
