believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
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Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
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Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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