be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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