can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Randomize