i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
