is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
