He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
