dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
