I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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