Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
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i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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