she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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