I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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