I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
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For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
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