I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
