I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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