would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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