We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
