I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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