Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
You know, be my cock's hype man.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
