Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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