i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
