The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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