In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
