just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
ok first of all what the fuck
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
