Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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