I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
How external is "for external use only"?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
