He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
