2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
This girl is more easily done than said...
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Randomize