This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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