Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Randomize
