Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
