Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
