I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
