Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
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