the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
We just shotgunned beers for America
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize