idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
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God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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