just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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