I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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