Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
