party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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