i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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