I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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