im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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