the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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