god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
i think i just lost a toe
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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