I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
