i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Randomize
