I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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