Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
