Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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