Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
