I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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