If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
