Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
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The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
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