Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
