We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
