it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
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