please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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