It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
