If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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