Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
