I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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