apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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